Ways to Beat that Back to School Hangover
The first few weeks of the new school year may be the best time of college (don’t @ me). Classes haven’t gotten too stressful, the weather is perfect for outdoor shenanigans/tailgates, and everyone is looking like their summer job was to lay out by the pool. This adds up to create the perfect storm--darties, house parties, pre-games, going out and waking up to do it all again. Seems like a dream until you realize that you have to get up on Monday morning and drag your sorry, hungover butt to a full week of classes. Suddenly, that warm weather makes it feel like a trek across the Serengeti desert to your 2:00 class. You show up sweaty, exhausted and looking like you haven’t had water in who knows how long (accurate). It sounds miserable, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are 2 ways to beat those back-to-school hangovers:
1. Water and Advil are your two best friends
I’m not sure there is a better drug out there than Advil. It’s like a home cooked meal from mom--consistent, there when you need it, and a true pick-me-up. However to get the most out of taking Advil, much like breaking up with your girlfriend, timing is key. Now bear with me--this strategy takes discipline and some serious will power to ignore those drunk thoughts that can be oh so persuasive. BEFORE you start drinking for the day, whip out your phone and set an alarm for 5:30am. (I warned you, just stick with me). Next, put a bottle of water and three Advil on your night stand. That’s it, the stage is set. When the alarm goes off at that ungodly hour, you’re gonna be pissed. Those thoughts of returning to your drunken coma by fumbling around with your phone, eyes closed, until that piercing sound stops are going to be strong, instinctive even. But you’re gonna need to pull yourself together and do your best Undertaker getting up [dot] gif impression to sit up in bed, reach over, put those three Advils in your mouth, and kill that entire bottle of water. Don’t tell me you can’t drink the whole bottle either, because you had no problem chugging that Bud Light three hours earlier when Brad decided to get himself kicked out of the bar. Now, you’re good to go. Roll back into bed for 2+ hours and you will wake up feeling like a new human.
2. Don’t Forget to Eat
With the hustle and bustle of getting the semester back rolling, it can be tough to squeeze in meals--forget trying to eat healthy. Sure, the late night trips to Taco Bell and Cookout are appealing, but those can only sustain you for so long.
Our advice: make sure to get a good breakfast.
Almost always, you should avoid the caf...except for breakfast. It must be a God-given law that cafeterias make good breakfasts, because we’ve never seen a bad one. It’s nice because you can stumble in there looking like you just went 12 rounds with the Grim Reaper himself trying to get back from death’s doorstep. No one will care either, because they themselves were afraid to look in the mirror that morning fearful it would bring back the worst memories from the night before.
Once you find yourself in the caf, go straight for the bread items. Waffles, pancakes, french toast, regular toast, bagels, biscuits etc. Basically, if it looks like it could double as a sponge, eat it. You’re gonna need that sponge effect later when hear someone yell “SHOTS!” for the tenth time.
There you have it--the keys to success for the beginning of the semester.